You can’t imagine it, the singer says. There she was preparing for her comeback record in eight years, ecstatically in love with her recent boyfriend, and finally the parent to a young child after facing fertility challenges for a decade, feeling invincible. Suddenly in spring she was diagnosed with cancer in her breast.
The singer-songwriter, birth name J. Cornish, is renowned for speaking her mind. The album, her latest release, was meant as an transparent story, dealing with every ounce of devastation she’d faced since she last recorded music (a gynecological condition, losing a baby, broken romances, psychological manipulation, suicide) with characteristic openness. The lead track, No Secrets, was dropped in April. But by then there remained a major undisclosed truth. The illness. Then follow-up track, the upbeat Living My Best Life, was released in May and the artist was giving interviews about how she was thriving, while still secretly living with her cancer. A month later she went public, and in early July she received surgical treatment.
She gives me her best “Are you kidding?” look. “I come out with a song called the track No Secrets. I’m conducting every interview, and they inquire, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I respond, ‘Well, not much…’” the singer has just had to cancel tour dates because she’s still waiting for reconstructive surgery.
We’re at a studio in London. She is dressed in a tan faux-leather coat, jeans with elaborate white patches, off-white boots and oversized specs. Imagine biker chic meets 1970s Nana Mouskouri. “As if I’m in the seventies and I should have a man with facial hair.” A biker reference, I say, recalling the film. “They used to call me that!” She grins. Cornish is sharp-witted, unfiltered and filter-free. She says she has always wanted to try comedy and is planning to attempt her initial standup show soon. “I love making people laugh. During performances I often tease the crowd.”
Medical Challenges and Discovery
She was preparing for an appearance at the Baftas when she discovered a mass. “I quickly sought to get it checked, had an scan, and they told me, ‘It seems benign; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I responded, ‘But I can feel it. My arm hurts and numbness in my fingers whenever I get up.’ And they replied, ‘We should biopsy it?’ That was 28 March, the post-birthday.” It was a Friday. The doctor told her if it was bad news she’d reach out on the Monday. By then the singer had assured herself it was okay. The way she tells it, it was simply too inconvenient to face illness when she had many commitments.
“It was a fortnight prior from debuting the project after years away and an extended break. And she [the doctor] texted and said, ‘Can you talk at six?’ And I assumed, ‘A video call, likely minor.’ So I log in believing it’s all going to be good, and she says, ‘You might want to sit.’ That sympathetic voice? And she says, ‘I’m so, so sorry but your test results have come back as aggressive cancer.’” How did you respond? “I said, ‘Well, that’s not great. What awful timing.’ The first thing I thought was, ‘My child depends on me.’”
Some men find me challenging due to my self-awareness
She viewed the procedure frightening and surreal. “I fear going under. They walk you down. In urgent cases you are wheeled, but this time I just walked with a hospital gown and my rear exposed. Like a dystopian scene.” But, Cornish says, she’s been fortunate. Without chemo or radio, just the op. “Cancer is awful, but yet Thank fuck I found it early. I underwent removal recently and my one side now looks like a fruit under fabric.” She smiles again. “I got to keep the nipple, though.”
The subsequent surgery is for health and appearance. Her chest, she remarks, are now “uneven. The size doesn’t match. That’s impolite! I reflected, no need to bully me, I’m already having a rough time. Such disrespect! Amusingly I said I’d never get my boobs done because I’ve got perfectionism, and I know they’d never be flawless. Illness changed that.”
Past Medical Issues
The singer is accustomed to medical issues. She believes her outlook on her diagnosis has been so positive because she’s used to health crises. Frequently they align with professional successes, acting as a reminder, or punch in the stomach, to remind her not to take anything for granted. “Honestly, I feel the universe whispers, ‘Enjoying yourself? Take a seat.’ Ever since I was a child, it has often paired with high points for me; something severe or obscure has happened to my health.”
She reminisces to her 11-year-old self, already making her debut featuring in the stage in a musical (she was cast at the age of nine). That’s when she was found to have the medical problem WPW, which can cause a tachycardia as well as vertigo and palpitations. “I rehearsed between visits on an intravenous line, and being readmitted at night.” She skips forward six years, and teenage Jess has joined the girl group the group while attending the performing arts school. “I secured a deal, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was about to put out music in recently I had a collision and my voice box shifted and I was unable to vocalize for a year.”
Oi, I say, wait, I am overwhelmed. At just 17? She nods|agrees
